He wishes he had never entered the funhouse. But he has. Then he wishes he were dead. But he's not. Therefore he will construct funhouses for others and be their secret operator - though he would rather be among the lovers for whom funhouses are designed.
[A]t least some drug trials begin with seemingly sensible expectations that a drug will work; those expectations are often wrong. Usually that is the end of the matter. But, to me, an important question may well be “Why didn’t the drug work as expected?”